Coleman to be Elected for First Time......
It's not usual
that you have an incumbent running for office for the first
time, but then again, there is nothing usual about Dan Coleman.
A politician that would vote the way I would vote if I were
a politician is indeed an oddity. It seems to be that today's
Democratic politicians vote in a way that would make them
less taunted targets of the Republican Right. Unlike the other
Democrats, Dan Coleman does not subscribe to the Democratic
Mantra "The only thing we have to fear is the fear that
Republicans will attack us and call us names."
"I have no
fear", explained Mr. Coleman. "If you're married
and have a five year old kid, you've seen it all and been
called every name in the book already!"
In a well-orchestrated
"coming out" announcement, Mr. Dan Coleman extended
invitations to the hard-hittingest community members and the
local media. The Carrboro News attended as well as Carrboro's
newest press corp, The
Carrboro Citizen, also present was The Chapel Hill News,
The News and Observer(of Raleigh) and Carrboro's finest radio
It's a rare occasion
when all present at a political convention can agree, but
there was no disagreement on the weather- it was hot! Mr.
Coleman, sensitive as he is to his first 25 votes, held the
announcement in the shade and kept it short, leading most
present to agree(again) that they would vote for him twice
if they could, just for not engaging in the normal long winded,
never ending political speech that we've come to love and
expect in America. "I may not be able to put food on
everyone's plate, but I certainly can let you off early to
eat lunch." Mr. Coleman took a lesson out of the University
handbook, like the professor that let their class out early
and secures the positive evaluation from his students, Mr.
Coleman secured his.
In one of
the more embarrassing moments of the announcement, Ellie
Kinaird(Democrat), mistakenly introduces the WCOM soundman
to the cheering crowd as Dan Coleman. Kirk Ross of The
Carrboro Citizen(left with camera not in the standard
"shoot" position)realized that he fell asleep
on the job and missed one of those Kodak moments that
could have propelled his newspaper into national prominence.(In
Kirk's defense, he is the editor and writers, not the
The Carrboro News
attempted to get a head count, but with the crowd abuzz from
the rousing speech it was like trying to count bees in a bee
hive, everytime we got to ten or eleven, virtually all people
had moved to a new position so we had to start again. We asked
a bystander if he was able to estimate the size of the crowd
and he responded "A lot".
Kinaird, displays rapt attention in hopes of replicating
Dan's rousing speechtalking skills in front of the Full
North Carolina House. To Mr. Coleman's left(The readers
right) is the WCOM sound man balancing the sound for the
first in the new "Greatest 21st Century Carrboro
Speeches" Series which will be available on WCOM
for a small subscription fee(Included in the series will
be the epic "WSM- Nathan-Ruffin- United We Stand
against Bruce" speech.). In the background you see
Kirk Ross(acting photographer-The Carrboro Citizen), landing
photos for his centerfold spread "What's Behind Dan
"The Man" Coleman."(He is presently in
the "Shoot" position that all seasoned photographers
engage in endlessly so they don't miss another Kodak moment.
At the close of
the meeting all participants, held hands, said a silent prayer
and then gently swayed in the breeze as they sang "God
Bless Carrboro"(Included in the Great Speeches tape)
as Dan Coleman slowly bicycled off into the sunset and his
first votes went off for lunch.