Randomly Placed Signs Cause Neighborhood Feuds

Carrboro's random placement of the "Drive Slowly- We Love Our Children" signs, have unexpectedly casued a furer and threaten to create neighborhood strife.

"We didn't think that randomly pwacing the signs throughout the community that professed our wove for our chiwdren would cause such a controversy.", one Town of Carrborro official told The Carrboro News on the condition that he remain annonymous. "I don't wike to say this but some of these parents need to get a wife!"

In a competitveness that has overflowed from the schools, in the gyms, on the soccer fields and in the ball parks, the parents of Carrboro children have now taken the competition to the streets of Carrboro. Streets that don't have the signs have it's parents momentarily questioning their love for their children, although after a few moments of silent contemplation and once they realize they do love them, leave them wondering why the town doesn't recognize that they love their children as much as the parents on the streets that have the signs proclaiming that they do just that!.

"I love my children just as much if not more than the parents on Lisa Drive!", one distressed parent from a signless street told The Carrboro News. "If only there was a way I could show this to the world."

Another parent from a street with a sign, wondered how the other people could not love their children and placed a magnet with the phone number of Social Services on her refrigerator just in case she needed to make a quick call to intervene for the sake of the poor child on the signless street.

In an effort to equalize the playing field the signless streets are looking at two options. !) Dig up the signs and post them on their own street or 2) Petition the town to put up new and improved signs in their neighborhood professing that "We REALLY Love Our Children!!!!!). Both will serve the same purpose of elevating the signless parents to a level above the parents that already have signs. The only question is whether it will be quicker to dig up and post the signs themselves or have the town requisition, purchase and install the signs. It's a tough call. With ballet lessons, piano lessons, soccer, art classes, Judo classes and homework, most parents don't have the time to dig up signs and post them somewhere else it's hard to guess who would be faster- the town or the parents?

The Old and New Signs... Side by Side