Town Board Green with Envy! Chapel Hill board Approves Single
Twin Tower Building Project!
Single Twin Towers will tower over the proposed Weaver
building war continues..... Chapel Hill has the University
of North Carolina... so Carrboro recruited CHCLE.(Slight advantage
Chapel Hill)Chapel Hill has the University Power Plant...
so Carrboro built a cement factory(advantage Chapel Hill).
Carrboro built Weaver Street Market....so Chapel Hill built
Whole Foods and Earthfare(advantage Chapel Hill).... Chapel
Hill built enough houses to house 50,000+ residents, Carrboro
built Roberson Place(advantage Chapel Hill).
of being looked upon as the little sister of Chapel Hill or
even worse, Chapel Hill's bedroom community, Carrboro decided
to put an end to the building race once and for all. Chapel
Hill could build the Franklin Street Hotel(article coming
soon), if they wanted, but the new project Carrboro had in
store would dwarf the Franklin Street Hotel.
Art Center Hotel complex would be a massive tangle of buildings
housing shops, offices, The Arts Center, galleries and even
people temporarily(Hotel) and semi-permanently(Apartments/Condos).
no sooner had the ink dried on the plans for this historic
project, Chapel Hill came up with it's trump card! The Chapel
Hill World Trade Center. A massive project consisting of not
one, but two skyscrapers(of which only one will be built).
With a capacity of 50,000 people the whole town of Chapel
Hill will be able to move into the building upon completion
The project, from the onset, has been surrounded by controversy.
Some residents of Carrboro believe that 110 stories is just
too high for a project that is virtually on the Town of Carrboro
Town line(the building will butt up against the Carrboro Passport
Control office building which handles immigration of CH refugees
looking to escape Chapel Hill and move to Carrboro, as well
as customs for the massive amounts of UNC souvenir trinkets
flooding The Carrboro market- Go Heels!). Others are concerned
that the buildings will cast shadows on 60% of Carrboro from
10am-130pm and if the second tower is built from 3-530pm,
in effect lowering the yearly average temperature of Carrboro
approximately 15 degrees F.
concern is the loss of privacy. From the 25th floor upwards
each occupant will have a birds eye view of all yards in Carrboro
within 4 miles. Should Carrboro decide to house a satellite
Police Station on any of those floors that will be the end
of Carrboro's budding backyard Weed industry, the naked backyard
Yoga studios, and the high school(and underage University)
student backyard keg parties that keep the mini-marts flourishing.
On the positive side, with 50,000 residents so close, with
a pair of binoculars, our peeping Toms are sure to find at
least one person who forgets to close their blinds, freeing
Carrboro residents to walk around naked and engage in acts
of extreme affection with their blinds up without fear of
all the controversy surrounding the Tower(s), there has recently
been talk of scaling it down to only 10 stories. With that
news, Carrboro gave a united sigh of relief, "Wow, that's
great!", exclaimed one resident, "only 10 stories!
Chapel Hill/Carrboro will retain it's small village image".
Town Board was also elated. "We commend The Chapel Hill
Board for their use of discretion. They have every right to
build 100 stories, but have decided to err on the side of
caution and to help keep Carrboro/Chapel Hill quaint.
The Carrboro News has uncovered other reasons for the Carrboro
Boards elation..... An 11 story building will be a lot easier
to fund and pass building codes than a 111 story building,
not to mention the employment opportunities for the board
members and their families should a controversial building
project need some extra smoothing over in the community.(Was
this change of plans a deliberate act on the part of Chapel
Hill to keep the Building Race going? Like the demise of the
Great Soviet Union, the prospect of winning the war with Carrboro
would force Chapel Hill to have to look for other enemies.....
and Durham, the closest town is way ahead in the building
war raising the eternally comtemplated question- "Is
it better to be a whale in a pail or a minnow in an ocean?)
contrary to our beliefs, there is a loser..... and a very
dejected loser at that. WCOM, slated to move it's headquarters
to the 110th floor and transmit from the radio tower saw it's
destiny as the #1 Community Radio Station in North Carolina
fade and visions of transmitting as far away as Dodson's Crossroads
were retired into their Year 2050 projections.